The WoT Meme Recap – Episode 6

The WoT Meme Recap – Episode 6

Welcome to the Completely Not-at-All Accurate WoT Show Meme Recap!

(Warning: Spoilers for Episodes 1-6)

Panel 1: Young Siuan channels behind her father. Panels 2 and 3: Her father's ropes detangle. Panel 4: Visibly angry, her father says, "You call that a Cat's Cradle?"

Episode 6, titled “The Flame of Tar Valon,” begins with a young Siuan Sanche and her Father on a boat. (Don’t you ever forget!) He’s struggling with a knot and she channels to help him out. He chides her because they live in Tear where channelers, even women practitioners, are not liked. Well, his wariness was not unfounded as neighbors must have seen Siuan channel at some point. They arrive to their dock as their home burns to the ground. Knowing it is no longer safe for Siuan, Papa Sanche sends her off alone to the White Tower.

Fast forward to the show’s present where we meet the head of the Aes Sedai, the Amyrlin Seat.

Panel 1 and 2: Leanne says, "Attend you, all. She comes. The Watcher of the Seals, the Flame of Tar Valon. Panel 3: David Rose stands in front of the Amyrlin Seat looking FABULOUS.

Once seated, Siuan calls for the false Dragon to be brought before her. Logain, unfortunately, does not live by the old adage, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Logain: "Do you know what they say about you, Aes Sedai, the further you get from this Tower? That you are weak. Weaker than you have ever been. A hundred years ago, if a man stood up and said he was going to the White Tower to throw the Amyrlin Seat from her throne, no one would follow. They'd kill me for even suggesting it. But when I said I was coming for you... I had an army at my back within the year. And even your little parade, showing off your prize... You know what the people will remember? They will remember that one man fought against nine women, nine mighty Aes Sedai, and that I still staked that Green to the wall." Siuan: "Sir, this is a Wendy's."

Once Logain is taken away, the Amyrlin turns her attention the the sisters who gentled him. She shows no patience for their circumstances and announces penance for Liandrin who was in charge when it happened.  But Liandrin is not one to lie down without shouting, “SHE STARTED IT!”

Siuan: You left the Tower two years ago. Where have you travelled? Moiraine: I'll do you one better, who have I traveled? Drax: I'll do you one better, WHY has she traveled?

Siuan was having none of their bull and retired to think on penance for them both.

Elsewhere Moiraine’s eyes and ears did their job, and she finally found Rand and Mat.

Top Text: Moiraine cures Mat of attachment to Shadar Logoth Dagger circa 998 NE. Image of Buster and Lucile bluth with mouths way too close.

Oh, and Rand continues to look like a certain Jedi.

Rand brandishing sword; "No, I won't let you hurt him!" Lan, pushing Rand down onto the bed: "It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground."

Moiraine’s eyes and ears also lead her to Perrin and Egwene. Egwene is much happier to see Moiraine than Rand was and she eagerly tells the blue of their plight. She ends her story by letting Moiraine know she took something very special from Valda.

Egwene: I took something from them. Egwene hands over an electric kettle. Egwene: "Now if Valda wants to make tea, he'll have to use the microwave. Moiraine looks perpelexed.

That night, Moiraine and Siuan meet via the use of a Ter’angreal. The tension between them is completely gone, and they’re even revealed to be very… close. They have both been looking for the Dragon Reborn for twenty years and with Moiraine being so close to the end of her journey, they’ll have to keep up their fake rivalry.

The next day, before Siuan can sentence Moiraine, our favorite Blue has a run in with our least favorite Red (So far).

Moiraine as Borat: This is my neighbor, Liandrin. She is pain in my backside. I become Aes Sedai, she become Aes Sedai. I find Dragon Reborn, she find Dragon Reborn. Her's is false Dragon, mine is not. Great Success!

WIth Liandrin out of camera shot, Moiraine continues to prepare for “The Plan.” Step one: recruit help from one of the Builders.

Moiraine: Glory to the builders! Ned from Spiderman Homecoming stares at Moiraine in disbelief as he holds his lego deathstar

And then it was time for Moiraine’s penance. Siuan was not kidding when she said they would have to keep up their ruse, she even pulled out the Oath Rod to help sell it.

Siuan: Say the oaths, Moiraine Sedai. Moiraine grabs the oath rod, "I solemly swear... that I am up to no good.

Now exiled from Tar Valon, Moiraine is free to do what she needs. She meets up with the Emond’s Field Five and Loial at a Way Gate and explains to them that they may not all survive. They follow her anyway. Well, most of them do. The Episode closes as the Way Gate does so, as well, behind our cast with one notable exception.

Rand, Labeled as "me trying to get my cat to do anything." says, "Mat? What are yo doing?" Mat, labeled as my cat, looks down. Rand/Me says: "Come on Mat!" Mat/cat looks away.

The episodes keep getting better and better! Episode 6 brought in a lot of the Aes Sedai politics from the later books and made it very compelling. A large chunk of the episode was just sisters talking in the sitting room with not much movement, but I was on the edge my seat for every word spoken. But it wasn’t all Aes Sedai debates, as the rest of our cast is back together and heading through the Ways! Well, most of them. It’s a shame Barney couldn’t continue past this point. He was excellent as Mat all season long! But I hope he is doing okay and wish him well.

It’s hard to do a comparison for what was and wasn’t in the books for this episode as both all of it and none of it was in the books. Individual interactions from the books were tweaked and put in different locations. All of the characters are going in the same direction as they were in the books, their paths are just slight different. Moiraine’s exile was definitely new and the use of the Oath Rod was surprising, but that does come up later. Now we have precedent that it can be used for more than just the three Oaths. Plus, Moiraine can’t be called back so easily by Maigan or any of the other Blue Sitters. Even Moiraine and Siuan’s relationship felt like something pulled out of New Spring and brought forward. Despite the new context, everything is recongizable and just feels right. Loial continues to be perfect, and the very small bit of the Ways we got gave me chills. The next episode cannot get here fast enough!

Now it’s time for your free meme template! This one comes from the current episode, and it involves Egwene and Nynaeve.

1. Egwene (Labeled as Slytherin) smiles as Siuan/Dubmledore says off panel: "And the house cup goes to..." 2. Egwene looks shocked as the voice off panel says, "GRYFFINDOR!" 3. Egwene stares shocked at Nynaeve who is labeled Gryffindor

Now let’s see what you’ve got! What caused Egwene to glare at Nynaeve?

Until next week, remember: the Wheel memes as the Wheel wills.Egwene and Nynaeve meme blank

The WoT Meme Recap – Episode 5

The WoT Meme Recap – Episode 5

Welcome to the Completely Not-at-All Accurate WoT Show Meme Recap!

(Warning: Spoilers for Episodes 1-5)

Two panel meme. One, Moiraine and two other Aes Sedai walk solemnly holding boards. "Pie Jesu domine, dona eis requiem." Two, they hit their own faces with their boards. "THWACK!"

Episode 5, titled “Blood Calls Blood,” begins with a rare look into Aes Sedai and Warder rituals. After the attack from Logain’s army, the Sisters put to rest their fallen and perform funeral rites for the lost. After which, they begin their long journey home.

Four Panel Meme. One, Moiraine and Lan ride together. Lan: "A long time since we've been home." Two, a shot of JordanCon host hotel Crowne Plaza. Three, Moiraine: "Do you really consider it home?" Four, Lan: "Don't you?"

But Nynaeve and the Aes Sedai aren’t the only ones heading to Tar Valon. Rand and Mat make their way there as well.  And along the way we get a nice bit of foreshadowing.

Three Panel meme. One, Mat and Rand look off in the distance. Rand: "That Mountain... I think I've seen it before. Panel 2, The Mountain stands amongst trees. Panel 3, Mat: "Blood and ashes, we'll never escape the Game of Thrones comparisons."

Perrin and Egwene, along with the Tinkers, are headed to the White Tower too. But they have a run-in with the White Cloaks and, unfortunately, Child Valda recognizes them. Mistaking the two for Aes Sedai and Warder, Valda kidnaps them and subjects them to his own special brand of torture.

Three panel meme. 1, A Vogon reads his poetry. 2. Egwene tries to escape her bonds. 3. Perrin's scream are muffled as he's tied up.

Back at Tar Valon, Mat gets sicker and we meet a new (old) friend. Plus, Rand continues to look like a certain Jedi.

4 panel meme. 1, Loial: "I am very excited to meet a Skywalker." 2. Rand: "I'm not a Skywalker." 3, Loial: "Please, I'm in the 501st. I know a Skywalker when I see one. But do stay away from the south tower. That's where the Warder Younglings are. 4. Rand stares in confusion.

But when Rand sees a procession on the streets below, Loial is left behind because our hasty humans just have to see the false Dragon paraded through the streets of the white city.

4 panel meme. 1. Logain smiles up at a balcony. 2. Statler and Waldorf on the Balcony: "Logain Ablar? More like No Brains So Far!" 3. "OH HO HO HO HO HO!" 4, Logain glares at the insult.

Elswhere in the tower…  more Aes Sedai/Warder Rituals.

Stepin casts his Aes Sedai's ring into lava. Gollum screams.

Later that evening after Liandrin gives Nynaeve some interesting directions, Loial returns to Rand’s hotel and brings Rand the person he’s been looking for. (Or at least the one Loial THINKS Rand’s been looking for.)

3 Panel Meme. 1, Loial: "Rand Al'Thor. I found the woman you keep talking about. Also I believe shes' on your computer." 2. Reveal it's Gwen Stacy from the Amazing Spiderman. 3. Rand stares in confusion.

Over at the White Cloak camp, Valda tries to get Egwene and Perrin to decide which one of them dies. But they escape both with the help of some wolves, and some well timed channeling from Egwene.

Egwene channels light into her hand, it becomes Navi who says, "Hey! Listen!"

And finally, we return to the White Tower for even more Aes Sedai/Wader rituals.

1. Lan looks sad. 2. Moiraine looks sad. 3. Lan along with three Klingons scream over Stepin's body, sending him on to Stovokor.

May Lan meet Stepin once again in Stovokor.

Episode 5 was the best yet. Our characters are moving right along to the end of the season, and each one of them continues to discover new things about themselves. The move from Caemlyn in the books to Tar Valon in the show makes budgetary sense and also gives us an early look into Aes Sedai politics—which will become very important. The additions of the many rituals give us insights that were mostly revealed in internal monologues. We really get to see not only how important the Aes Sedai/Warder bond is, but what effects its sudden loss can cause.

As far as things that were very similar to the books go, Loial was perfect. I’ll admit, when I first saw him my reaction was rough. He’s smaller than he should be, and he doesn’t look even close to how I pictured him. But as soon as Hammed Animashaun opened his mouth, I was sold. The voice, the mannerisms, the personality… I just can’t wait to get more Loial, son of Arent, son of Halan. The next episode can’t get here soon enough!

Now it’s time for your free meme template! This one comes from the current episode, and I think there’s a lot of potential here.

1. You finally discover what you're good at - Valda looks happy. 2. It's making memes. Valda looks upset.

Now let’s see what you’ve got! Until next week, remember: the Wheel memes as the Wheel wills.

The WoT Meme Recap – Episode 4

The WoT Meme Recap – Episode 4

Welcome to the Mostly Accurate (Okay, 12% accurate) WoT Show Meme Recap!

(Warning: Spoilers for Episodes 1-4)

Panel one: A black manifestation of the one power whispers to Logain, "Do it." Panel two: It continues, "The kids will never know." Panel Three: A second manifestation adds: "Yes, eat the last full sized Milky Way."

Episode 4, titled “The Dragon Reborn,” starts us off in the not-too-distant-past with an exciting introduction to our favorite false Dragon, Logain. As he single handedly conquers Ghealdan, we are shown in a very creepy and cool way that the madness has him – or does it?

In the show’s present, he’s been captured and contained in an Aes Sedai camp Moiraine, Lan, and Nynaeve stumble upon. Here, Moiraine is healed, we learn more about the bond between Aes Sedai and Warders, and Nynaeve has a very “pleasant” run-in with everyone’s favorite Red, Liandrin.

Panel One: Liandrin says to Nynaeve, " It's Na-na Na-na Boo Boo, isn't it? I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing it, I haven't tried the audio books." Panel Two: Nynaeve glares mother-efferly

Meanwhile, Mat is getting crankier and Rand continues to look like a certain Jedi.

Panel one: Rand says, "What's he doing with us? First time we met him, he stole our money. Panel Two: Watto flies next to him, "Ani, you know Republic credits are no good out here."

Back at the camp, Moiraine checks in on Logain. He’s almost definitely going mad.

Panel one: Moiraine asks, "And the madness? How far gone is he?" Panel two: Liandrin responds, "He's the same as any man who can channel. Worse, even. He keeps saying, "Bela is the Dark One."

And we meet some really cool Warders.

Panel one: Stepin, "Do you know, I never really understood your taste in traveling Companions." Panel two: Lan, "She's not a companion." Panel three: The Thirteenth Doctor, "Right! I'm the Doctor, he's the companion!"

The camp gives us a good introduction to Ajahs and how different each can be. We see the Reds with no Warders and Alannah being very snuggly with her two.

Elsewhere, Perrin struggles with the direction of his life so far.

Panel One, Ila the tinker says, "You cosplay? Burned yourself with hot glue? Accidentally pink through your seam? Cus out your sewing machine?" Panel two: Perrin stares at her. Panel Three: Ila, "And tell me, has your life been better or worse since you learned to sew?" Panel Four: Perrin questions all his life decisions.

Me too, Perrin. Me too.

Back at the Aes Sedai Camp, Logain’s army attacks. The Sisters and their Warders do what they can, but there are too many of them. So they fall back to the cave where Logain is kept. Unfortunately for them, Logain escapes in all the confusion and leaves nearly everyone guarding him, including Lan, near death.

Of course, this severely angers a certain Wisdom from the Two Rivers, and we get our first glimpse of exactly what an angry Nynaeve can accomplish.

Panel one: A glowing Nynaeve shouts, "NOOOO!" Panel Two: She looks like a glowing sun. Panel Three: Doc Ock from Spiderman two says, "It can't be stopped... Her anger is self-sustaining now..."

With the exception of Rand, Mat, and Thom at the farm, a lot of this episode was completely new material not in the books, but man was it good. It pushed forward pretty much every character arc and showed us just how powerful Nyneave is in a short amount of time all while leaving me wanting more. Knowing that they are probably saving things like Caemlyn until Season 2, this was a great way to move the narrative forward toward the climax of Eye of the World, and I can’t wait to see what comes next.

Now it’s time for your free meme template! This is actually a scene from Episode 3, but I love Dad-joke templates so much, I had to find room for it. Here’s my WoT dad joke.

Panel one: Dana, "What's an Aes Sedai's favorite drink?" Panel Two: Rand, "What?" Panel Three: Dana, "Apple Saidar." Panels four and five: Rand busts through a door to escape.

Now let’s see what you’ve got! Until next week, remember: the Wheel memes as the Wheel wills.

Blank dad joke template

The WoT Meme Recap – Episodes 1-3

The WoT Meme Recap – Episodes 1-3

Welcome to the WoT Show Meme Recap!

(Though, with so many episodes dropped at once, this first recap will be mostly discussing the general adaptation so far.)

(Warning: Spoilers for Episodes 1-3)

Three panel meme. First panel, Perrin: You think we'll ever go back home? Second panel, Egwene: Home? No. Third Panel, a combination of the Wheel of Time Logo with No Way Home from the new Spider-man Movie. Wheel of Time: No Way Home.

I was first introduced to Wheel of Time in college. It was around the year 2000, and I had a couple of friends who had been reading since high school who loved to talk about the series and theorize about the next books. I didn’t read it immediately, but I enjoyed hearing about the Forsaken and when they’d finally see Mat again. A few years later, I finally gave into their incessant pleas to join them and began reading.

Of course, I loved it. But also, as a young movie buff, I immediately saw the potential for transition to the screen and spent endless hours both in my head and discussing with my friends exactly how “I” would do each scene and concept. It was all extremely hypothetical though, as none of us ever truly thought we’d see it realized for film or television.

Twenty years later, it finally happened.

How did it compare to what idealistic young me envisioned? Well, we’ve only had three episodes so far, but even with so little there is quite a lot to unpack.

There were a lot of elements that were dead accurate to the books.

An image of the Mountains of Mist with the Amazon Smile logo arcing through it. It resembles an arrow showing the direction of the wind. The caption states: In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose in the Mountains of Mist.

The Trollocs were spot on. And even the Myrdrall design grew on me since the trailers. Seeing Bel Tine was just how I envisioned it, and the battle that came near its end was breathtaking. Shadar Logoth was even better than I could have imagined. The Tinkers were somehow both very colorful, but also dusty and travelworn. And unlike another big budget high fantasy property, the songs were not cut.

Four panel meme. Panel one, Mat Cauthon sings: I got the horses in the back. Horse tack is attached. Second Panel, Egwene sings: Hat is Matte Black. Got the boots that black to match. Third panel, Both plus Perrin and Rand sing: Riding on a horse. You can whip your Porsche. I been in the valley, you ain't been up off that porch. Fourth panel, Moiraine says: It is good to remember Old Town Road.

The casting was all perfection. The standouts for me being Rosamund Pike as Moiraine and Madeleine Madden as Egwene. They both just felt like their characters even before I heard a word from them. But everyone else quickly became their respective roles for me and none of them were at all jarring.

There were some unexpected surprises.

Three panel meme. Panel one, mysterious boots walk into the Winespring. Panel 2, hand reach up to pull back a hoodie. Panel 3: It's Billy Zane from the Red Eagle pilot! I win again LOSE Therrin!

There were definitely some changes that I did not expect. One, involving Perrin, reminded me a bit of things mentioned in a “fake spoiler” thread we created on the JordanCon Facebook group where we threw out impossible situations for a laugh. But honestly, after sitting on it, I think it not only works, but helps fix some issues I have with him in later books. Apart from that, most of the changes do make sense in context, even if some scenes were cut or certain things happened out of order.

Three panel meme. Panel one, Nynaeve looks away from Lan and says, "You want to ask, so just ask." Panel two, Lan asks, "You said you tracked me. How?" Panel 3, Nynaeve says "I used the WAZE" and holds up a phone showing the GPS app.

Though, I do hope we get some “blood and ashes” in the future.

Overall, at it’s heart, this was The Wheel of Time.

Various panels showing people in circles in the show then Ben Wyatt from parks and rec saying, "It's about the wheels."

Sitting and watching these first three hours was like meeting back up with old friends with new stories to tell. It was amazing to see them walk and talk and feel. To experience channeling in a new way. To hear the countless words that were mostly in my head for so long said out loud – AND CORRECTLY! It’s both completely different than what I imagined while at the same time being exactly what I imagined. The Trollocs were Trollocs. The Whitecloaks were very much Whitecloaks. And the Aes Sedai were Aes Sedai all the way down to the Three Oaths.

Three Panel Meme: One, Valda says, "All those who seek passage through our land must be properly... questioned. Panel two, Vada says, "If you are not Aes Sedai, tell me  your pen is red. Panel 3, Jim Carrey from Liar Liar holds a pen, "BLUE!" written all over his face and says, "This pen is r-r-r-r... This pen is r-r-r-r-ROYAL BLUE!

Overall, I can’t say all my anxieties have been quelled, and there are certainly some things from the books that I miss, but I can’t wait for episode four and hope this show continues on until the end.

Since this Meme Recap is, as Ben Wyatt would say, “about the memes,” I’m going to give you a free meme template. But first, I’m going to make use of it myself to point out an outstanding performance in these episodes. And that is none other than Johann Myers as Padan Fain.

Padan Fain looks disappointed in the wonderful show Trollocs. Padan Fain looks happy at the guys wearing helmets on the cover of book 2.

He’s so good at seeming just the right amount of off that you just know he’s evil enough to prefer the Trollocs from the cover of The Great Hunt to the ones in the show. I think we’re going to see some spectacular performances from him, and I can’t wait until I hear that creepy whistling again.

Until next week, here’s the template. And remember: the Wheel memes as the Wheel wills.

Padan Fain Disappointed/Padan Fain Approves template

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